"I Blush to Think Upon This Ignomy" – Shakespeare

The problem with carp may just be that at they need a more majestic moniker. The British were smart about the south asian carp: they called it “the mighty mahseer” and it rose to legendary status among colonial anglers and still carries a rich cache. With the right amount of marketing, the ‘gold finned matador’ (derived from their beautiful filigree, ferocious determination and not-so-secret preference for the soft taco) could get folks mighty excited and allow carp anglers everywhere to escape the dark closet of ignomy. Meanwhile Eric Sharp bemoans the end of carp season in his column in the Detroit Free Press.
Other naming suggestions welcome.